I know I blogged yesterday but I don’t see the posting. That means it is sitting on my home computer waiting for me to hit the “publish” button. Crazy – this is the second time I’ve done that. Today I’m have my mini with me and am blogging as I have a moment while my Kindle charges.
Today is a vacation day and it started with stress. But now all stress, or most, has left me and I’m ready to enjoy my day. I’m ready to make some great memories with family and friends as we begin to gather for a big event. The senior recital of our vocal performance major. As I’ve said before, I love to hear her sing. This event will be all about her and singing.
Part of my stress was about thinking I had lost my husband’s passport. He handed me the stack of documents when we passed through the Canadian border in February, returning from our ski trip. I thought I put his passport in the wallet I keep mine in, but today I was searching for it and couldn’t find it. That kind of thing really gets under my skin and I find it very hard to let go of. I can clearly remember debating where to put it and deciding my wallet – and that it was kind of a clumsy fit. Lo and behold, as I was in my travel wallet for another reason today I realized I had this card stuck in the card slots in an odd way. It had a sleeve …what is that? Oh, he had used his little passport card not his actual passport – and that is what was in the wallet. It all became clear in my memory.Ii let him know I found it, and even more, I secured it better and can now let that worry pass.
Why I take responsibilitiy for everything and feel like it is my falut when things go wrong I don’t know. It is clear through my past I have tried to be perfect. For some reason I feel like I have let someone down if I’m not. Well, note to self, I’m not perfect and last time I looked, no one expected me to be. How much this has kept me from trying! Here’s to letting go of perfection or even the persuit of perfection. And to the start of pursuing relationship and memories/activities.
I hope you find a similar direction. I’m grateful to have this blog that I can put it out there and hopefully get some encouragement on this transformation – it won’t be simple.
I’m grateful for the wits to write and to feel and be me.
i’m grateful for things to look forward to like a family cruise and a couple of weddings. May your life be as richly blessed.